the Heart when it's quiet

Yes, I’m here, just as I said I would always be. I know you didn’t expect to find me here, now, awake.

It’s the fourth watch of the night, the quietest time of the day when the voices in your head are somehow the loudest.

I’m awake, too, because I want you to know you’re not alone.

And you don’t have to tell me what’s on your mind, because I already know. I love you, remember? I know you better than you think. You’re my child, my beloved. I was there when you were born. I heard your first cry and I’ve heard every cry ever since.

I know, I can see…you think you’re a failure. I can see the worry that wracks your heart. I see all your regrets and doubts. Why else would you be awake at this hour?

I know you don’t know what to do, what is going to become of you. I know you’re afraid. The future’s unclear.

I know you just want to be loved and seen—

--well, I see you. I know you.

And I got you, kid. So, just let it out. You don’t have to hold back the tears, because I got you, kid. Just let it out.

I’m here. I’m here for you.

I’m here. I’m always here for you.

…………………………

I wish there was something more I could do to let you know how much I love you, that you are my pride and joy.

I know you’re hurting and I just want nothing more than to take the hurt you feel and hurt for you, instead of you. My heart aches for you.

But please please hear me, please please hear me when I say that you, my dear dear child, are so very precious to me, my pride, my joy.

You don’t know this but sometimes when you are asleep I sing soft sweet songs over you. You fill my heart with all that is good and I love you.

You are not a failure. You don’t have to worry. I got you, kid.

And can I just say you really don’t need those regrets anymore. You are where you are and it is no mistake. You can trust that. And no matter where you are, there I am with you, always for you, with you each step of the way.

Your life is not a mistake. I wish you could see it the way I see it.  

In any case, I’m here. I’m here for you, even in the fourth watch of the night.

Rest now. Tomorrow will be another day and I’ll give you enough strength for it. I’ll be your vision. I’ll give you a new song for whatever is yet to come.

Rest now.

Rest now.

……………..

the Heart when it’s quiet

by troy cady

for anyone who hurts