We have the following conversation with Nic, our 5 year old son, often.
Dad: Nic, what color cup do you want?
Dad: Because blue is your favorite color, right?
Nic: Yeah. Blue is my favorite color. That’s right.
Dad: (checking) Oops. Sorry, buddy. All the blue cups are dirty right now. How about a green one instead?
Nic: No. Because blue is my favorite color.
Dad: Nic, you can’t have blue right now. How about green?
Nic: Well, blue is my favorite color.
Dad: Nic, look. (showing him the cups) There are no blue cups. Would you like a green one?
Nic: Well, okay. I can have a green one. Because green is my favorite color.
I don’t think he quite gets the concept of “favorite”. I do fully understand it, however, and blue is most definitely my favorite color.
Keeping that in mind, note this scene:
Heather walks into the kitchen in the morning. Heather preps the coffee pot for the stove top. Heather turns on the stove and the water begins heating. Heather opens the cupboard door and picks out (every time) one of two combinations:
Option 1: A blue cup and a yellow cup. (One cup for me and one cup for her)
Option 2: A blue cup and an orange cup. (Again, one cup apiece)
Note the common denominator in either option (the blue cup), and then note that there is no such thing as Option 3 where Heather will select a yellow cup and an orange cup.
Now: You would think, in light of the fact that blue is my favorite color, that Heather would select the orange or yellow cup for herself and give me the blue cup. But, does she do that? No! She always takes the blue cup.
I think we have had the following conversation on more than one occasion:
Troy: Heather, which one is for me?
Heather: The yellow one.
Troy: Why not the blue one?
Heather: Because I like blue.
Troy: But blue is my favorite color.
Heather: Blue is my favorite, too.
Troy: Okay, but yellow is more for girls.
Heather: No it isn’t. And I like blue.
This has become such a common occurrence that I have gotten used to using a yellow cup, even though blue is my favorite color.
So, yesterday morning I came into the kitchen and I put on a pot of coffee to brew. Then I opened up the cupboards to select a cup for myself. There were three colors from which to choose, all to myself: blue (my favorite color!), and orange and yellow.
And yesterday morning I was missing Heather terribly. I wanted to reach over and touch her hand. I wanted to see her smile and I wanted to see her shake her head (and roll her eyes) as I told jokes to the kids. And I wanted to believe she was here.
So, I chose yellow.
I love you, Heather.