In my work as a minister to children at our church, we use a
particular approach to ministry which I personally believe is good for everyone—young and old. Let me introduce
you to some of the big ideas embodied in this method. As you read these
principles, I invite you to consider applying them as you tend to your own
growth in faith and mission—or as you serve in nurturing the growth of others.
1. Synergy:
Everything takes two. We grow by relationship. There is “give-and-take”
involved as well as “take-and-give”.
Our relationship with God is synergistic. God comes close to
us and we can draw near to God.
Our relationship with others is synergistic. We exchange
listening and speaking, expressing and contemplating.
The process of working-together is itself an impetus towards
maturity. Our growth depends, then, on how we respond to what faces us and whether
we embrace or marginalize those we encounter. Hence, the second principle…
2. Readiness:
There are habits (both internal and external) we can
cultivate to put us in a state of “readiness” for genuine encounter. Some of
these habits include:
a. Stillness.
It is impossible to encounter the fullness of another person,
idea or object when our minds and hearts are preoccupied with other matters.
This is why the psalmist wrote: “…give me an undivided heart.” To love another is to fully attend to them. God
makes us the “apple of his eye”—that is, he (The Center) has chosen to make us the
center upon which he fixes his attention and love. Sounds almost heretical, I
know. But, it’s true!
The law of synergy above suggests that God does this so we
may return the favor freely. So, God invites us to make him the apple of our
eye by stilling our soul, putting to rest anything that would distract us from the
object of our love. The same is true in
human relationship.
“Be still and know…”
b. Preparing space.
The practice of stillness represents the preparation of internal space towards genuine
encounter. Sometimes this internal shift
leads to a rearrangement of the room around us. Sometimes, however, preparing external
space is what helps create this
internal space.
A big example: at the top of my street the city tore down an
old library so they could build a new one. Why? So neighborhood residents could
have a space more conducive to learning.
A small example: This morning, before reading my Bible, I
lit a scented candle and put it on a table I could see. I did this so that, if
my attention wandered, I would have a visual focus to lead me back to stillness
again.
Keep in mind, however, that sometimes the preparation of
space serves as no more than a distraction to genuine encounter. Sometimes we
get so busy “preparing a space” that we have no time and energy left to engage
in that for which we prepared the space in the first place! This is something only
you can know for yourself. Strive for balance in this.
Keep in mind, also: preparing space involves getting your body ready for what is to come. You can
put yourself in a “posture” of readiness. Kneeling
in prayer sometimes helps me embrace a spirit
of prayer. Sitting in a position that leans towards
someone often helps me be a better listener.
That said, here are some questions you might consider: How do you prepare space? What kind of
surroundings do you like to be in when meeting with a friend or having time
with just you and God? When you meet with someone else or with God do you do so
with a sense of “ready anticipation”?
c. Preparing time.
I am learning that if I do not take time to meet with God or with a friend (or even with my family), it
will not happen. I have to set aside
the time.
This is because, with each passing year, the world and its
demands grow more and more complex. There are more people to keep in touch
with, there are more possessions to steward, more books to read, more things to
say. There is more, more, more.
Except time. That is the only thing I will never have more
of.
So, it is up to me to steward the time well. This involves a
critical choice. Will I take time for others? Will I take time to be with God?
But no sooner do I choose to “take time” than I become aware
how counter-cultural it is to do so. It feels strange, this “setting aside of
time”! It feels wasteful and slow. It feels inefficient and unproductive. It
feels childish and I ask myself, “Is it really necessary to go this slow?”
In my work as a storyteller, I sometimes relate the story slowly and I find that we quickly become
fidgety at such slowness—myself included! We incorporate silent moments into
the story so we may have time to think or hear something we never heard before.
In almost every instance, we feel compelled to “speed it up,
whydon’tchya?” Surely, we know this story already!
But, if we are going to meet with God and others we can only
do so in time. So, take time. Set it
aside and go slow. You’ll thank yourself.
d. Silence.
The best way to get ready to listen is to be silent and
wait. There is no short-cut for this; there are no other alternatives. We
cannot listen and speak at the same time. To listen, we must shut our mouth and
silence the words in our head—and listen.
But we have so much to say! Yes, this is true.
And that is our problem. For there is far more that we have
to receive than what we have to give. We are not the be-all and end-all of it
all, after all.
So, we still ourselves,
we prepare space,
we prepare time,
and we practice silence.
Now, we are ready.
3. Tell stories and
wonder.
Stories are more complex than propositions—unless we can see
the story behind the proposition! There
is a story behind Jesus’ command to “love your enemies.” In fact, there are many stories behind that command. The
words invite us to live into the proposition. When we live into it, the proposition
becomes a story—and in the story we encounter Truth—which is living, personal, and
filled with beauty, mystery.
What’s more, there is no exhausting the Truth. We can learn
all there is to learn about facts. I heard someone once who memorized the whole
Gospel of Mark; he knew it word for word without error. But what impressed me
more was that this man seemed to cherish
the words he learned. There was a Person behind the words that he grew to love
dearly.
That is the difference between true and Truth. Something may
be true objectively but when we experience it first-hand (subjectively) it
becomes Truth. Stories take true things and relate them to us in such a way
that they become Truth. By engaging stories, we also have the chance to explore
countless questions that arise. There is always something more to be discovered
because our mind and heart cannot hold it all at one point in time. That is why
stories are so crucial to one’s process of maturing. They provide occasion to
wonder.
There is much more that could be said, but I suppose that is
enough to chew on for now. Until later, I invite you to consider how you might
appropriate some of these principles in your own life.
I hope this helps you in some way!
Yours,
Troy
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