There are so many things in perpetual flux these days.
Good friends are saying goodbye to Spain after many, many years of ministry there. The movers came, packed their boxes, emptied their apartment. Today, they have cleaned their apartment so they are ready to hand the keys back to their landlord tomorrow. Soon, they will fly away. A major chapter has closed and I find myself feeling teary with them--tears of joy and gratitude alongside tears of sadness.
A mother celebrates with her son who has just graduated from high school. He will head off to college on another continent soon. She went to bed late and was awakened early with thoughts on her mind and stirrings in her heart. How does one adjust? Like her, I find my mind these days whirling, because...
We, too, are still adjusting. For the record:
-We just moved here last summer after twelve years of living in Europe.
-We are planning to move house at the end of this month.
-Our kids started a new school last August.
-They will both start other new schools this September. My daughter: high school. My son: middle school.
-I started a new job in July; Heather started a new job in November and I started a second new job in April. I think it is safe to say we are still trying to find our legs.
-After years of serving in pastoral leadership, we have spent the past seven or eight months simply looking for a church to attend regularly. This feels strange to me. We have found a church, finally, but it still feels strange to not wear the hat of "Preacher" anymore.
In the midst of all this flux, my imagination stirs--but sometimes I feel I have too many ideas, too many possibilities to try out. Believe it or not, this sometimes causes me to doubt myself, thinking: “Yeah, right. Like that could ever happen!”
There is one anchor in the midst of all this: the goodness of God. When I feel invigorated and excited, filled with hope and bursting with imagination, he is there. When I feel hopeless, he is still there. When I am in a hurry to get to where I want to go, he is patient, reminding me, “My timing is perfect.”
Following dreams sometimes feels foolhardy. (I’m beginning to see that, perhaps, it always feels crazy to follow a dream!)
Are you, like me, in flux? If so, hold on, hold on. God is there. His nature does not change with our feelings. He is good, always good. Don’t doubt, don’t fear. Neither doubt God nor the self God has made you to be. He is well-pleased with your dreaming, even if it will take some time to see those dreams become a reality. Keep dreaming, keep trusting.